The honeymoon (oh how I hate that word)

Thursday, February 27th, 2014

The first glimpse that a visitor gets of Langley Castle

It's been a while since my last blog entry, since when I've got married, been on "honeymoon", and returned to work. So while I impatiently await the pictures of the civil ceremony day itself, I thought I'd write something about the amazing few days we spent afterwards. The honeymoon...
Oh, how I hate that word. I'm not sure exactly why, it just sounds so twee and old-fashioned, like something people harped on about in 1970s sitcoms. I looked up the origins of the word, and it seems the etymology is confused, but one opinion says the word originates in the Middle Ages when a newlywed couple would be given a month's worth of mead as a gift by friends and family - a month's supply being sufficient for one full cycle of the moon, in which time it was expected the bride would fall pregnant. And, of course, mead is made with honey, and honey is proven to act as a powerful fertility booster, so there you go. Or rather, there we didn't go!
Anyway, the "honeymoon". After staying our first night betrothed in Chester, we travelled oop north (an old stalking ground of mine from my university days) to stay in York for a couple of nights. I love York, it groans with history and atmosphere and is a rare gem that hasn't been exploited by commercialism too much.

Complimentary chocs

We stayed at a Best Western hotel called the Monkbar, and although it is part of a national chain, you'd never know, because it is family-run, and it shows. Personal service, friendly and down-to-earth, you can just tell it's run by people and not policies. We weren't ten minutes in the room when the telephone rang and it was the receptionist ringing to check everything was OK with the room. Now, I've stayed in scores of hotels across the world in my time, but never in any of them have I had a call to the room to check it was OK.
We also got a little box of four complimentary chocolates, which naturally went down exceedingly well!

These dudes were very kind,
 they stood very still while I
 took my photo

We spent a lot of time taking literally hundreds of photos of York Minster, a vast and awesome spectacle which I had walked past and looked at countless times in the past, but never actually gone inside. The expense had put me off (£10 each), but that entry fee allows the holder to revisit the Minster for free as many times as they like for the next 12 months, which isn't a bad deal, especially if you're local.
I'm not a fan as such of ecclesiastical architecture - the extravagance and immodesty of Catholic church interiors in particular leaves me uneasy - but they are definitely good to photograph, so we had a ball.
Another good haunt in York is the Guy Fawkes Inn, just a hop, skip and jump from the Minster. They do excellent evening meals in a very subdued atmosphere of candlelight and authentic decor. Spooky, but not scary. Hot waiter, too...

The stalls of York Minster... Very M R James!

The awesome chapter house

After York we moved on to Northumberland, to stay in the 14th century castle at Langley, close to Hexham. We'd stayed there a couple of years ago on a press trip freebie and loved it so much that we vowed to return, and we considered a post-nup stay the ideal opportunity.

Looking through from the bathroom to the
 bedroom (see the spooky apparition
 in the chair?)

I've always wanted to stay inside a castle, a proper castle with turrets and 7ft thick walls and suits or armour and flags, and this is it. Last time we stayed in the converted barn lodge overlooking the castle. This time we were in the Greenwich suite inside the castle itself. Not cheap, but truly worth every extravagant penny.
Our room had a window seat overlooking the front of the castle, including a fountain and impressive topiary and a woodland seething with rabbits and birdsong. It was so relaxing, sitting drinking a morning cuppa overlooking such tranquil surroundings.
Langley is just off the A69, which runs roughly parallel to the original route of Hadrian's Wall, so there is a lot of history about this rugged moorland. Various Roman landmarks and tourist attractions pepper the route, so we called in to a couple and really enjoyed our time there. There's the remains of an impressive original Roman settlement at Vindolanda; you can walk around the actual settlement, which has been and continues to be painstakingly unearthed and preserved by archaeologists. There are no buildings left intact, but it's like walking around the foundations of the settlement, complete with doorways and butcher's slabs and the freshwater irrigation channels. A truly inspiring place.

Vindolanda, sozzled in sepia

At the Roman Army Museum seven miles away it's all indoors, but there is a 3D film you can watch recreating Roman Britain, following one handsome soldier on his journey from simple lackey to a full-on centurion (fact fans like me will appreciate the nugget that a centurion did not command 100 men, just 80).
And then it was off back home, but we had an amazing, rewarding and refreshing few days "honeymoon" which we will never forget. You're truly treated like a prince at Langley, and I've always loved York, so the entire trip was well-planned. And who doesn't love a Roman soldier?
Now, where the heck are those wedding photos... ?

The window seat at Langley Castle.
We spent a lot of our time while in the room here!

A marriage is announced

Tuesday, February 4th, 2014

Two rings to bind one love

It's been in the pipeline for many months now, but as I am not the kind of person to crave being the centre of attention (says he, writing on his internationally published blog), I haven't been publicising it very widely.
Until now.
Truth is, in 11 days time, I'll be a married man! On Saturday, February 15th, 2014, Gareth and I will be standing side by side, saying vows to one another in a civil ceremony, exchanging rings and pledging ourselves to one another for the rest of our lives.
It's been a long time coming too, because that very same day is our 18th anniversary. It's taken 18 years to get to the stage where we - as same-sex partners - can finally "tie the knot".
Well, that's not strictly true. Civil partnerships have been legal since December 2005 in Britain, it's just taken us over eight years to pull our fingers out (and slip them into matching gold rings).
And the even truer truth is that we've waited so damn long to do this that we're almost out of date straight away. In March 2014 it will be legal for same-sex partners to get married, so we are only six weeks away from a new improvement in the equality laws.
What will really happen is we'll become civil partners (the first time we'll have been civil to one another for years - joke!) and at the end of March we apply for a marriage licence, which will be granted due to the civil partnership being in place.
Some people might wonder what the importance of doing this is after almost two decades co-habiting, but it's important, both from an equal rights standpoint, and just due to the fact we love each other and why the hell shouldn't we? I won't list here all the reasons why being civil partners or recognised as a married couple is better from an equality point of view, you can Google that up for yourself.
But what I would rather you look up is the lack of equal rights for gay people overseas. The UK is a forward-thinking, liberal society that may have taken its time to get to this point, but at least it's moving forwards, not backwards, as in some countries.
Russia - soon to be in the international spotlight thanks to the Winter Olympics - has a shocking gay rights record. Apparently there are no gay people in Russia (population: 143 million).
In Iran, they have been known to hang people for being gay, and in Uganda they are trying to pass an act of Parliament to make being gay illegal, and punishable with imprisonment. There are also efforts to make it against the law not to report a person you suspect is gay to the authorities.
All this hatred and bloodlust in the name of love, the strongest force we have.
What I am saying is that just because gay rights have made huge leaps forward in the UK, doesn't mean people don't still hate me. Hatred exists in the UK, but sadly attacks on gay people are rarely reported as widely in the media as those on straight people.
And most worryingly of all, hatred for gay people in parts of Asia and Africa is actually growing, not dying away.
And this makes it even more important for Gareth and I to exercise the rights we have as a same-sex couple next week. I hope you wish us well, but please do not ignore or forget those who are not so lucky, those who do not feel as free to simply be themselves.

This isn't Gareth and I, but they're just as good looking as us from the back!

A most memorable Mancunian memoir

Sunday, February 2nd, 2014

I had such a good weekend in Manchester that I felt I wanted to write about it, and you can choose to read about it or not.
It all began on Friday with a lovely meal at one of my favourite eateries in the city centre, Kro at Piccadilly Gardens. It's a Danish restaurant/ bar but has all sorts of dishes on the menu. Having said that, I often find I prefer the Danish dishes, many of which seem to incorporate either fried or poached eggs, beetroot or black pudding. Sometimes all three. It's very hearty food, the sort of solid, meat and potatoes nosh that makes you feel good on a cold, winter's night (which it was on Friday).

Medister sausages. They have
 quite a kick

This time around I opted for medisterpølse, a Danish or Norwegian speciality consisting of a thick, spicy sausage made of minced pork, and it was delicious. In the past I've also enjoyed biksemad, a hash made with pork, onion and potato flavoured with lashings of Worcestershire sauce, topped with a fried egg and beetroot. I often think that most food would benefit from a dash of Lea and Perrins...
After loosening my belt by one notch, we headed to Manchester Opera House for a show I've been meaning to see for years now - Thriller Live. It's been firmly ensconced in London's West End for most of the last eight years, but it's current UK tour was an opportunity too good to miss.

The calm before the storm of hits

Being a fan of Michael Jackson's music since I was a teenager (any "child of the 80s" cannot fail to count the Thriller or Bad album among their earliest memories of discovering pop music) this show was a fantastic celebration of the late entertainer's most popular work. I wouldn't say it had the most imaginative set list, but then if they didn't include the likes of Thriller, Bad, Billie Jean, Beat It or Smooth Criminal, I'm sure the audience would lynch them. It would have been nice to include a few of Jackson's lesser known but just as enjoyable tracks though, such as Whatever Happens or You Rock My World off his 2001 Invincible album.
Nevertheless, everybody seemed to have a riotous time, and it was a great atmosphere in what is a gorgeous little Edwardian theatre (little being the accurate description of its very cramped leg room).

Manchester Opera House managed to look a little like the cinema in Michael Jackson's Thriller video

After a few drinks in my favourite bar in Manchester - the Molly House on Richmond Street - it was to bed, ready for Day Two.
Up bright and early, and a delicious breakfast at the small but perfectly formed Blue Daisy Cafe in the city's Northern Quarter. It only has three tables inside, and a couple outside, but if there's space, this is one of the best places I know of for freshly prepared home-cooked food. They always have delicious looking soups and salads in their chiller, and I always feel I want to sample them all. This time I opted for scrambled eggs with spinach, tomatoes and mushrooms on thick bread, however. The perfect start for a busy day ahead.
We "did the shops", including one of the finest, most exciting, diverse, crazy, bohemian and imaginative places in the city, Affleck's off Church Street, again in the Northern Quarter.

Affleck's, aka Affleck's Palace

If you like to go round shops which sell oddments and knick-knacks, unusual handmade trinkets, vintage clothing and homewares, fancy dress, jewellery et al, this is the place for you - a vast multi-storey warehouse of individual, independent traders, many of whom make their own goods to sell, while others trade in second-hand and nostalgic goods. Marvel at Star Wars figures, 1950s telephones, retro wall paintings, stacks of old VHS tapes and Amstrad game cassettes, 70s lampshades and Army surplus clothing.
I love Affleck's, and after one visit, you will too.
We then drove over to Salford Quays (annoyingly, the Metrolink was undergoing maintenance on Saturday) and parked at the Lowry Outlet Mall, where you can get four hours free parking if you eat at one of the restaurants there. So we did, scoffing Italian breads and meatballs at Bella Italia before nipping across to the Lowry for our second theatrical date of the weekend, this time with Rob Ward of Manchester's own Working Progress Theatre Company, and his one-man show Away From Home (you can watch the trailer at the foot of this entry).
In the space of 65 minutes Rob manages to portray umpteen different characters in a play which addresses homophobia in football, or more accurately the lack of out gay players in the sport.

Rob Ward

Rob plays a gay footie fan (two things that go together rather awkwardly) who is also a male escort, and who one day meets a new client who just happens to be a high-flying Premiership footballer. A relationship blossoms between the two, but it can never be spoken of because footballers just aren't gay, obviously.
The play addresses the inability of players to feel they can come out while still active in the game, for fear of "career suicide" as well as a stream of offensive, homophobic chanting on the pitch from fans.
The play is explicit, daring, confrontational, challenging and most importantly of all, unafraid to address a topic that has been taboo for far too long. The Studio Theatre at the Lowry was packed to the rafters, so congratulations to Rob for coming up with something genuinely brave and entertaining.

The Reading Room at the John Rylands Library

Then it was back into the city to catch the free Subluminal event at the beautifully gothic John Rylands Library on Deansgate. Its cathedral-like grandeur was the perfect venue for Subluminal, which basically used lighting and sound effects to create a spooky, eerie and unnerving walk-through experience.
The main reading room at the Library is impressive at the best of times, but illuminated in deep neon pinks and oranges, it was like being in some dream-like netherworld. The trip into the Library's cellars was claustrophobic and exhilarating.
And it was all for free. Such a good event.
Just one example of the many and varied things you can do in Manchester on any given weekend. I could even have gone on a giant pink observation wheel if I wanted, but I didn't. I did the London Eye a few years ago, but not even the Mancunian skyline can top that!

The Freij Wheel at Piccadilly Gardens