It's almost traditional now for the annual BRIT Awards ceremony to have some sort of controversy or mishap surrounding it. It's getting to the point where they really ought to consider a new award for Best Blunder just to make sure every skill-set is covered. And after last night's Fallen Madonna mishap I thought I'd look back over some of my favourite BRIT Award blunders of the last 25 years or so (the awards have actually been going since 1977, as a way of marking the Queen's silver jubilee - there, you didn't know that, did you?). Right, on with the show...
February 13th, 1989 - Samantha Fox and Mick Fleetwood do Ant and Dec (badly)
In 1989 the BRITS were inexplicably co-hosted by Page 3 Stunna Samantha Fox and Gandalf lookalike Mick Fleetwood. Whoever thought to put those two together deserves the first ever BRIT Blunder Award because it was just an embarrassment of under-rehearsed announcements, failing autocues and some poorly organised backstage shenanigans (for instance, a pre-recorded acceptance message from Michael Jackson was never transmitted, and when the hosts welcomed the Four Tops onto the stage, Boy George walked out instead - never a satisfactory replacement). Plus, the vast difference in height between Samantha (5ft 1in) and Mick (6ft 4in) made even camera movements tricky. Oh, and then there was that pink hair...
February 12th, 1992 - The KLF retire live on stage to a deafening soundtrack
February 19th, 1996 - Jarvis Cocker waggles his bum at Michael Jackson fans
The most memorable BRITS boob has to be 1996's stage invasion by Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker during an extravagant performance of Earth Song by Michael Jackson. While MJ is up on a cherry-picker asking why humanity doesn't care about forest trails and crying whales (how can he tell they're crying?), Jarvis wandered onto stage to drunkenly protest against what he saw as the indulgence of an over-inflated egotist. His protest is actually pretty pathetic when you watch it back, as he seems to arrive on stage and then have no idea what to do, and proceeds to simply pose in a very Cocker-like way, and waggle his bum at the crowd. The fact he was waggling his bum at a bunch of crazed Michael Jackson fans in the mosh pit probably didn't get help his cause. But still, it provided a memorable BRIT moment which has passed into legend.
February 9th, 1998 - John Prescott is drenched by Chumbawamba
Politics should never interfere with music, in my opinion. But in 1998 the BRITS decided it would be a good idea, seeing as the Labour Party had so magnificently swept to power in the previous year's General Election, to have Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott sitting in the audience with his wife, watching the ceremony, among the Britpop glitterati. This didn't go down too well with the Scottish dance group Chumbawamba, who decided to hurl a bucket of iced water over him, stating: "If John Prescott has the nerve to turn up at events like the BRIT Awards in a vain attempt to make Labour seem cool and trendy, then he deserves all we can throw at him." Despite apologies from EMI Europe, Chumbawamba have been unrepentant about their watery assault of Two-Jags ever since.
March 3rd, 2000 - Non-entity invades stage and insults rock legend
In the year 2000 the BRITS were to be the scene of an artistic showdown between the waning Spice Girls and the newly solo Geri Halliwell, but it wasn't this girly cat fight that made the headlines. Nobody had ever heard of DJ Brandon Block before March 3rd, 2000, and even 15 years later you'd be hard pushed to think of any other reason to recognise Mr Block other than for his BRIT blunder. He had drunk so much that when his joshing mates claimed Brandon had won an award and ought to get up on stage to accept it, the inebriated DJ stumbled into action, interrupting the announcement by Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood and actress Thora Birch of the Best Soundtrack Album. Block was pulled off stage by security and an exchange of fruity insults went on between the Stones guitarist and the non-entity DJ, before Block charged back onto stage only to be met with Ronnie's half-pint of beer in the face. In case you were wondering, Notting Hill won.
February 25th, 2015 - Minotaur assaults Madonna
Finally, it's got to be 2015's BRITS blunder (no, not the incessant but welcome muting of Kanye West). Madonna's unceremonious fall backwards downstairs while singing Living for Love was unintentionally hilarious. A dancer dressed as a minotaur yanked the cape Madonna had wrapped around her neck and it was meant to come off with ease, but it seems the cape was wrapped around her neck rather too securely by good old Velcro and the whole lot went at once. Cue international megastar slumped in an undignified heap on the floor before millions of TV viewers. But you know what? The thing is, rather like Michael Jackson all those years ago, Madonna just got back up and carried on with the performance, through to the end, like a true professional. People might have had Cocker-like objections to Jackson's Earth Song performance, and others might secretly enjoy the bursting of the Queen of Pop's bulging bubble, but when it came down to it, they both showed their experience and professionalism by not letting the audience down. And you've gotta give them credit for that.
Now, roll on BRITS 2016. I can't wait to see what blunders it has up its sleeve.
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